Shall We Dance, Dear?

Recently, I sat down in a coffee shop and listened in, in spite of myself, on a conversation near me. Yes, this is some sort of sin, I've guaranteed myself a spot in hell with a lawn burning with fire, a driveway where a minivan rests, and a house that I share with a fat and smelly hypochondriac, but I listened in anyway.

The conversation was first about a wedding which would be happening within the year. My congratulations to the happy couple.

The part I really want to focus on, however, deals not with wedded bliss, wedding vows, or the wedding night. My focus is on this particular part: the wedding dance.

What does one dance to at a wedding? Dependent on whether or not we're at a new age wedding or one where they have a string quartet, the answer will vary each time, but let's focus on the wedding dance as thought it were just a "normal" wedding.

Note: there is no normal, there is societal acceptance, but no actual normal.

The music peaks, the floor clears, a man in a tuxedo announces into the microphone that the lucky man and the lucky woman (already plotting an escape) must NOW TAKE THEIR FIRST DANCE AS A MARRIED COUPLE.

The shame.
The agony.
The overpriced lessons.

What does one dance to right here? The two discussing the wedding in the coffee shop were landing on the possibility of Josh Groban. I instantly thought of "You Are Loved (Don't Give Up)" from Josh Groban's recently released cd Awake. Fantastic, really.

I am sorry to say, my next thought was that of "I Do, Cherish You" by 98 Degrees.

Suffice to say, I will likely not dance at my wedding if this is all I can think of.

So, what does one dance to?
Jennifer Holiday's "And I Am Telling You?" Josh Groban's "You Raise Me Up?" Boy bands? Pop songs? Rock ballads? Whitney? Britney? Ashley? Patty? Perhaps a bit of Guns & Roses? (you know what the reference is, admit it)

In my opinion, it is best to just remain quietly in your seat, grab your spouse, and remain in a liplock until the onlooking crowd decides you will A) be better of not disturbed, and B) would be happier not dancing, anyway.

No, I won't be planning any weddings, not anytime soon.

So, This Is My "New" Blog . . .

This is not my first blog. Nor shall it be my last. Nor am I new to this, a stranger to the art of blogging, or some poor little innocent dabbling in the world of online blogs. Not that there is any such thing as an offline blog, but that is besides the point.

The point is this: I am not new at this. I just don't care enough to put on hundreds upon hundreds of pages when I know exactly what I'm doing, I have several already, and some of my best writing exists on those pages - true, most I have ended or shut down, but that's also besides the point.

Yes, I am a bitter, eloquent, and scathing young man. You will deal with this. If you read it.

Which begs to question:
1) Who are you, anyway?
2) Why are you reading this?
3) Do these pants make me look fat?
Okay, fine, scratch the last one.

I keep blogs. No, wait, scratch that too - I kept blogs. I do not keep them daily, but update them weekly or biweekly, and they have an audience. I have already established my community, I have already found friends.

SO, you want to know why I'm here? Fine, then: this blog is required. In a college course wherein we explore writing for new media, we have begun the semester by delving into the world of blogs.

Call me Anderooney. That has hidden meaning to it, you'll figure it out at some point.

This is my "new" blog. Welcome.