Shall We Dance, Dear?

Recently, I sat down in a coffee shop and listened in, in spite of myself, on a conversation near me. Yes, this is some sort of sin, I've guaranteed myself a spot in hell with a lawn burning with fire, a driveway where a minivan rests, and a house that I share with a fat and smelly hypochondriac, but I listened in anyway.

The conversation was first about a wedding which would be happening within the year. My congratulations to the happy couple.

The part I really want to focus on, however, deals not with wedded bliss, wedding vows, or the wedding night. My focus is on this particular part: the wedding dance.

What does one dance to at a wedding? Dependent on whether or not we're at a new age wedding or one where they have a string quartet, the answer will vary each time, but let's focus on the wedding dance as thought it were just a "normal" wedding.

Note: there is no normal, there is societal acceptance, but no actual normal.

The music peaks, the floor clears, a man in a tuxedo announces into the microphone that the lucky man and the lucky woman (already plotting an escape) must NOW TAKE THEIR FIRST DANCE AS A MARRIED COUPLE.

The shame.
The agony.
The overpriced lessons.

What does one dance to right here? The two discussing the wedding in the coffee shop were landing on the possibility of Josh Groban. I instantly thought of "You Are Loved (Don't Give Up)" from Josh Groban's recently released cd Awake. Fantastic, really.

I am sorry to say, my next thought was that of "I Do, Cherish You" by 98 Degrees.

Suffice to say, I will likely not dance at my wedding if this is all I can think of.

So, what does one dance to?
Jennifer Holiday's "And I Am Telling You?" Josh Groban's "You Raise Me Up?" Boy bands? Pop songs? Rock ballads? Whitney? Britney? Ashley? Patty? Perhaps a bit of Guns & Roses? (you know what the reference is, admit it)

In my opinion, it is best to just remain quietly in your seat, grab your spouse, and remain in a liplock until the onlooking crowd decides you will A) be better of not disturbed, and B) would be happier not dancing, anyway.

No, I won't be planning any weddings, not anytime soon.