The Rhythm Of The Night

So, let's talk about sleep. Yes, that's an odd thing to say, but let's talk about it anyway. Because I, for one, want to encourage the world to sleep, sleep well, and sleep again tomorrow night - but we, as human beings, will not ever do this.

Let me explain where I'm coming from.

The Sopranos is, apparently, an excellent show. Very informative, very action-packed, and every third word is the "F" word (when the dialogue isn't punctuated by a gunshot). Call the children, bring in the significant other, gather everyone together on the couch, open a bag of chips, tune in to watch this lovely, family-oriented program.

Watch it, that is, if you are not trying to sleep.

Now and again, you have the roommate who does this. You encounter the cousin visiting your house for the night, the college roommate, the careless parent, or that pesky neighbor next door - the one who, just as you are about to fall asleep for the night, finds it necessary to plug in the television, crank up the noise, and let Tony Soprano curse loud and true into the night for all to hear.

Or, more importantly, for YOU to hear.

Sleep is good. Really, it is. You lie down, get your head relaxed, fall comfortably into a state of pleasant happiness, and then BANG, Jack Bauer is in the other room fighting the terrorists again, or some desperate housewife is in mid-catfight with another desperate housewife. At this point, it suddenly becomes quite impossible to sleep.

Like I said, sleep is good. If you can reach it, that is. In a college dorm, it is very hard to claim. Somewhere, someone in the building, at some time (and likely between 9 and 12) will insist on watching something loud or listening to their stereo.

In my dorm, the top three sleep-related obstacles:
- Roommate wants to chat on IM
- Neighbor nextdoor wants to watch television
- Drunken person outside wants to climb in through your window (really)

Something will happen. You will not sleep tonight. Or tomorrow. So, what must you do?
Give in???? Surrender????

NEVER.

There are ways to combat this. Earplugs, for example. They work wonders. If not, take a strong dose of Nyquil. If this fails, douse your roommates and neighbors with Nyquil (this also works wonders). As a last resort, move out.

Or, if you're the spiteful sort, fight back.

Wait, just wait, like a tiger in the grass, crouching and tracking the warthog in the wallow nearby, until the moment is right. Then, spring.
When they're about to sleep, play YOUR music. Turn on YOUR television and make sure that someone is shooting someone on the screen. Drink and become ornery enough to raise a ruckus. Go a step further, even, and play pop music - and sing along.

Because, in conclusion, the lesson of this blog is this: If you can't sleep tonight, no one should.

Godspeed.