Grow Up

Flowers are a peculiar thing. I know this because there is no longer the simple strategy for keeping them alive which consists of the following:

1) Pick them
2) Put them in a vase
3) Add water

No, apparently one can't just expect a flower to survive in water anymore - things must be done to keep them alive and well and therefore flowers are to be watched like bombs in case they go off in a shower of petals.

I had some flowers from Hawaii sitting in a vase on my windowsill in my room. I put them on the sill, kept the window open for sunlight, put nice water in them - they were dead within a week. It was sad to throw them out, I loved the scent.

After a brief stint in the theater, some friends brought me a bouquet of roses. I put them in the same vase and added this expensive powder they brought with them, supposedly for the purpose of prolonging the roses.

It worked. Then, I read the back of the package and found out that water had to be changed every couple of days, fresh cuts were required, the roses were to be rotated in the sun, etc.

Basically, I decided it was more trouble than it was worth and let them go after about a week and a half.

Nowadays, you can't expect a flower to live in a vase for more than a day. If you want results, you must do all sorts of things. Florists today will scream and yell until they are blue in the face to emphasize that water is not the answer.

Get bottled water. Add chemicals. Pray. Buy fifteen sun lamps. Dance around them waving a stick and chant ceremonially.

To me, this is becoming troublesome. I say, keep them in the garden, or buy fakes ones. But then again, the idea is to let life thrive on your windowsill.

Better have the chemicals ready.