Man Over-Bored!

So, how's spring break going?

Let's ask a question that is more pleasant, then.

So, how's that hangnail?

Forget it. Spring break, this year, is a bust. I am that one person who has been sentenced to spend it at home with his parents underneath a great mountain of snow rather than somewhere expensive, amoral, and tropical.

As such, I am bored. I have little more to do than feed fat dogs, watch talk shows, and actually do the homework assigned. Pathetic.

However, I am not alone and I know it. There are those of you out there that are stuck in my position, and to you, I say this: Let us stand united.

Spring break, the summer, New Years Eve, and many other fantastic holidays are often times when the magazines say that you should get up and run out into the world to celebrate, to get a tan (well, not New Years Eve), and to have the time of your life. There are always these holidays which come around and there are always those of us, like me, who find ourselves that small percentage that has been forced to stay at home without anything to do.

New Years, you sit in front of the television and your parents snore loudly on the couch nearby.
Spring break, you catch up on Oprah (no quoting me on this).
Summer, you head for the tanning salon to convince others that you actually went to the beach.

There are those of us that will not go anywhere. But we can find our own fun, if we look hard enough.

What do we do? What should we do? Cook? Garden? Sleep?

Myself, actually, I am not a good cook. I have burned spaghetti. Really. And my father keeps me from gardening, what with his hatred for flowers and his everpresent lawn mower. And I mentioned two fat dogs, preventing any sleep.

Read? Yes, that seems good.
Write something? Perhaps the next great American novel?
See a movie! There's a winner.
Eat massive amounts of food. There's another. Come back and show those skinny, sunburned toothpicks that you are pale and fat and PROUD OF IT.
Listen to music. Play it loud. Very loud. Have the cops brought in by helicopter and tank with the pressure of the music.

The point is this: you may be alone, but you are never without options. You can always find something to do with your life. Just look hard. VERY hard, mind you, and eventually, something will happen.

Now go feed that dog.