Friday, April 13, 2007

Hard-Hitting Journalism

You do not have to agree with everyone in this nation. This nation is America, by the way, just to explicitly clarify that I'm in America and not Australia or France or anywhere else. At any rate, you don't have to agree with everyone.

Free speech. Freedom of press. Freedom to wave a semi-automatic with a license. This is a miraculous land of magic and beauty.

I will kill him. I will kill him, I will kill him.

People have points of view. You are allowed to express them. I have certain ones of my own - I won't go into them here, but they concern every now and then a lot of issues today and I don't mind expressing them but for the sake of my point, I won't - and I can say them and be happy with them. True, Joe Schmoe down the block may think contrary, but so what? He's allowed to. I'm allowed to, as well.

We can all say that everyone can agree to disagree.

I will kill him. I will kill him slowly.

Defend the right to say what you want. And accept one thing: you don't have to agree with everyone else. If you are pro-abortion, then no one can roar at you that you MUST be anti-abortion. If you are for the war in Iraq, no one should be allowed to scream in your face that you CAN'T support the war in Iraq.

You have viewpoints. You are allowed to have them. So is everyone else, even those who just go around expecting everyone to conform.

I will kill him quickly, instead.

Now, for my issue, there are also those who you know that have a view contrary to your own. Suppose, however, they are a friend. Or were a friend, in this case. So you say that Situation A is right, while he one day decides to unveil his thoughts that Situation B is better whereas Situation A is immoral or stupid or just plain weird.

For all you know, I'm talking about the whole You-Can't-Wear-Sock-With-Sandals topic.

In this case, I opened the newspaper on campus and looked at the editorial section and came across my "friend" with his column and his viewpoint which was definitely contrary to mine, but in such a hurtful way that I decided at once to

Kill him. I am going to obliterate him.

and furthermore decided that I would think of him as an idiot.

See, that's what I can do.

I intend to do the following when I see him today. I intend to go up to him and whack him off the back of the head with a rolled up newspaper and snarl loudly in his face. I intend to tell him that he is a jerk (maybe not that word, but you get the drift) and to tell him that his viewpoint hurt me.

Of course, you know what might happen. He'll claim I'm trying to squelch his freedom of speech. I will remedy this by saying the following:

"You are allowed to pick any view you want, that's your right. You have free speech and free this and that and everything, it's all your right. I still have the right to say that your viewpoint clashes with mine, and I respect your viewpiont completely, but I think you are a right jerk. You are a jerk, and you are insensitive, and you are no friend of mine, and you are a jerk. Jerk, jerk, jerk."

And I'll hit him with the newspaper again and storm away, vindicated by the law and my spirit.

I might not kill him after all. This would be enough.

Because, this is America. And you have the right to believe that anyone, anywhere can be an honest to goodness jerk.

Amen.

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