Red Tape Gag

I'll be honest with you - this world was made by God and then the people came and wrapped it up in red tape. It is there, the protective layer which shields us from the sun's ultraviolet rays, and gives us a nice comforting feeling (sort of like being suffocated, but slowly). And in time, we've all come to accept and even cherish it.

I say, the hell with it.

Red tape. Red tape? I don't even know where the phrase came from. Yes, I could actually sit down and do some legitimate research on the issue, but I don't care to. I'll remain ignorant so I can remain angry.

Nowadays, especially on this campus, things are done only with red tape attached. You can't send an email, you can't write a paper, and heaven help you if you sneeze without red tape. Policies, rules, regulations, and hidden meanings are on every last surface.

For instance: the theater group this year was told by an excited new member that his mother's friend was throwing out a sofa, and we should go get it because it might make a good prop or just another place to sit on backstage.

The fallout:
- The Elected Student Board sprang into action
- A committee was elected to discuss the benefits of getting the sofa
- A subcommittee was elected to discuss the faults of getting the sofa
- A debate was held over who would get a truck to get it and whether it was far away or not so the gas would make the couch unneccessary
- A debate was held over whether, since the couch was free, we should pay compensations to the previous owners or not
- A ballot was turned in on the issue
- Consideration was taken over what possible value the couch might play in our futures
- The president of the Elected Student Board made her final statement and created a committee to go and get the couch

I am not kidding. Not one bit, I swear it. We couldn't just go get the stupid couch, we had to vote on it and wear through a political debate. In high school, we would have said, "Yeah, sure, let's go get it!" No, not here.

Things that are simple are not, anymore. Meetings are held for the smallest thing, and what you think you can do yourself is illegal.

Now, my issue: I found an internship. Without the help of the college. Upon turning my paperwork into the school for a college signature, the place fell into panic and I was told

A) Since I did not find it through the school, it does not technically exist
B) I likely don't have a good enough GPA or credit amount because I'm a sophomore
NOTE: they found out I did and were stunned, and said that no sophomore my age ever does
C) Told me that the internship wasn't good enough, probably, so they had to send out papers to the job to prove it was good enough
D) Said that the situation was out of my hands now, they'd take care of everything

You get my point.

There is no simplicity. There is no ease.

Form A must be filed before Forms B through Z can be accessed. And meetings will be held, and juries will go out, and the government will shut down for the day.

Because we must respect, remember, and remain faithful to the freakin' red tape.