I am neutral. I'll say that now, I am neutral. I do not take part in the gigantic orgy of screaming and writhing that we associate with the opening day of the Red Sox. I prefer to stand on the side and watch.
At any rate, there is no way to avoid this sort of thing here at my school. From sunup to sundown, if you are in New England then you will be dragged into the madness we have come to associate with opening day.
In my case, it got worse.
- First of all, I went without dinner. This is possibly due to the fact that there was a line from here to next Tuesday just to get into the dining hall for the special all-hot dog meal. We're talking everything from your everyday Fenway Frank to good old brautwurst.
- Next, the campus was literally buried in decorations. Well, at last the dining residences, but it will spread, I know it. I right now have a baseball-shaped hat sitting next to me at this computer . . . and I'm in the library.
- At night, someone set off fireworks over by the townhouses. I don't know where they came from, and I didn't even know that we had fireworks salesmen in this state, but we do, and they did, and there we are.
Fireworks, hot dogs, decorations, lines. This will escalate.
How do I know this? Because, for instance, the nearby lake tends to get littered with things this time of year. New York Yankees fans, for instance. Also, two of my teachers are devout Red Sox fans and tend to work their hatred for the Yankees into their lessons.
"So, let's pretend that the Yankees owed about fifty-thousand dollars to the Red Sox because they suck and we hate them. We'd call this interest, and this account gets closed at the end of the accounting year."
"Alright, as we all know, anyone in this room who is a Yankees fan doesn't get a full grade. Just kidding. No, seriously, is anyone in this room a Yankees fan?"
The season has begun, I will get no sleep.
Hurrah. Go Sox.
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